|| fr3ak3 ||

I wana grow old with you

2012-01-27T18:49:00.001+04:00

Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

2012-01-27T18:44:00.000+04:00

~~ I miss you ~~

Good has been GOOD

2011-04-01T20:09:00.000+04:00

Yess!!
It's as true as is stated.
6years ago me never imagine where i would be today.
and 6years ago me never dare dream so BIG,

6years ago me, never dream anything about going out of malaysia,
never did i dare dream about having much,
never did i dare hope for much for the result that i got.
and never did i ever dream big.

For those of you who didn't know,
Ive got my strings of D's for my spm result,
I've got my disappoinment,
with my "tidak apa" attitude,
I didn't dream far,

But God had a plan for me,
He says NO, eugene...
Theres much more in u when i created u.
No way ure stopping here....

He got me a sponsorship to support my studies at Taylors,
He got me a Job in a 5start hotel as a start for me,
He then got me a job in dubai in another 5start international hotel,
then after promotions....
a promotion that is during dubai's economic down turn,
and then another promotion after a year. which i initially targeted 5years to reached.

By then im already speachless,...
I was happy,
delighted
overjoyed
and afraid.....
afraid i couldn't cope up with the expectation from others.
Because of the changes of cuisine...
The age i was in... I keep feeling i wasn't ready,

But God was with me the whole journey.
I 1st started as a jr.sous chef, things didn't went really well...
I guess because of my young age with such position...
not many respected me, not many wanted to listen , or even bother listening to my suggestion ,
it reached a point where i feelike leaving...
throwing everything away, and just leave...
what's the point of working when i'm not even happy and respected.
twice...
twice did i almost hand in my resignation letter,
But i hold back....
after a couple of ~~days~~ weeks...
I told my self, NO....
AM not giving up like this...
am not leaving a kitchen like i cant handle...
not gonna do that...
The harder i fall,the harder ill stand back up.

Cut the story short....
Months past,
Things are getting better, of coz there's still ups and downs...
then came a day my chef pull me in the office,
door close shut..
Look at me and said...
"I want to promote U... what say u?"
Looking at him with my "tidak apa" attitude...(pada hal inside i was opening bottle of champaige celebrating)
I said... Ure the boss.. U ask me ar??
OF COZ I WANT!!! hahaha who wouldn't ??? right??
He laugh... @_@

after days past...
He came to me... saying I CANT be promoted..
reason being, Im not yet a comfirmed staff (still under probation)
Seriously.. i wasn't really disappointed because i didn't even expect to be promoted in such a short time..
But he told me not to be upset,
he will try to promote me.. (and tell me people... why would he do that?)

a month later..he told me he talk to the management...
and i was allowed to be promoted...
HALELUYAH!!!!
i was happy again...
I was promoted again!!!
just 7months ... it would be my fastest promotion in record...
but i know i don't deserved it...
i know it wasn't my chef doing...
i know that God loves me...
He LOVES me...
I got promoted 4 times in 4 years....
i dont even believe myself...
is definitely not me..
is not that because im that good...
is not because my cooking is the best in the world...
is not because i deserved it..
IT BECAUSE OF GOD's LOVE & GRACE

and now...
dont tell me HE isn't real...
dont't tell me how bad a sinner we are and God dosn't loves us...
and don't tell me that its coincidence....
I dont believe you....

so please...
dare to dream..
dare to ask...
and DARE to receive when the time comes...
ure just 1 step away....
its that simple.....

=)

best of the best

2011-03-28T10:03:00.000+04:00

My best working partner of all time.
Telepathic understanding
get along well
u can go up forward,dare to take risk knowing that they are behind you backing u up when when u needed,
we are serious when are needed to be,
crazy and serious is taking a nap,

is really not easy to find some1 like u guys to work with,
and im glad at least in my working career i get to meet both of u,
miss working with people like u 2,
crazy yet professional..

someday....
we might cross "sword" again...
someday....

Psalm 31:1

2011-03-26T01:00:00.000+04:00

In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.......

When all the clutter is stripped away, what is your real hope?

When you push aside the diplomas, awards, accolades, and honors, what is the basis of your significance?

Only One endures forever! Only God guarantees that our life is significant.
Only our Savior can provide for us a place where our valuables won't decay and aren't stolen and won't rot.

So let's not place our treasures or our hopes in anyone but the LORD .

3 1/2 years Ago

2011-03-26T00:53:00.000+04:00

Got an email today from blene,

something which I posted 3 1/2 years ago,

looking back then, it was my 1st year when i came to dubai,

realizing and start dreaming big for a better future,

Back then i wrote that i see my self somewhere someday,

1 of it was seeing myself working in Jumeirah hotel

when i was reminded that i wrote about it, I was surprise,

didnt remember i wrote those,

Don't be afraid to dream big, never doubt to ask

When the Lord says He will bless U , HE WILL.

Jeremiah 32:17

2009-08-25T23:13:00.000+04:00

Our minds tend to see our problems as big or small. Even when we pray for the sick, we say things like, “You have a headache? No problem. Let’s pray for your healing.” But when it is cancer, we say, “Oh, let’s tell the senior pastor about it. It would be better if he prayed for you.” We think of headaches as small problems and cancers as big ones.
But that is not the way God thinks. There is nothing too hard for Him who made the heavens and the earth! With God, there is no such thing as a “big” problem. In fact, the “bigger” the problem, the “easier” it is for Him! In the feeding of the 5,000, it took only five loaves to feed the multitude. (Matthew 14:15–21) But in the feeding of the smaller multitude of 4,000, it took seven loaves. (Matthew 15:32–38)
In man’s scheme of things, it should take more loaves to feed more people. But this is not so with God. It took fewer loaves to feed more people. This is God’s way of telling us that the “bigger” the problem, the “easier” it is for Him. I am not saying that small problems are hard for God. But it is so encouraging to think that it is “easier” for God to heal cancers than headaches!
Imagine coming to God with a big problem. “So, what is your problem, son?” God asks. You say, “Father, it is a huge financial debt — not thousands but millions!” He says, “Easy. It is already cancelled.”
In another scenario, God asks, “So, what is your problem, son?” You say, “Father, I have lost my job and I can’t find a new one. I am already in my fifties and I don’t have the necessary qualifications.” He says, “No problem. Consider yourself employed. And in this new job, you won’t just have a job, you will have a position.”
Beloved, with God, it is never a problem because there is nothing too hard for Him!

Awaken

2009-05-25T12:53:00.004+04:00

Comparing to other normal days. I woke up 3hours earlier then usual. i felt the Lord reminding me ( read 1 thessalionians 1&5 ) . we should all be grateful of what has HE done in our lives. we often think of Him only when we're in trouble or in times of need. and as those of u who know,i did not have a good start of 2009... not everything smooth sailing. I blame God for those times. I question His power,His capability, His vision, I blame Him for bring me the this earth. But God has been patient with me, He didn't throw a knife at me,nor land a punch on my face,did not even make me eat back my words... His actions and words proved me wrong.. I was so ashamed.

yes 1 thessalonians says : we should always thank God for that we are. 5:2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night, while people are saying "peace and safety" destruction will come upon them suddenly.

The final instructions: 5: 12-18
The Lord spoke me to me, telling me to change,respecting those who are weak,live in peace with each other,encourage the timid,and most importantly be patient with everyone just like how the Lord kept patient with me(yes,he told me that) and make sure nobody pays back wrong for wrong..

5:16-18
Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks to all circumstances for it's the Lord's will.

May those who read this will be blessed.. Amen.. +)

The worst month ever

2009-04-29T02:50:00.003+04:00

Time can really changed a person....i've experience that.for better or worst... is not something i've enjoyed all these while..

i've been avoiding the blog for about a month now....been dwn dwn and all the way dwn....i find no meaning of life no purpose of living,nothing to keep me moving foward for some reason...its funny how could jz 1 thing can take everything that matters in ur life away. well its the past now...life back to normal.not the normal i dream of...normal life..nothing much interesting happening.

well i guess we all go through these path once in our life.but now..i felt something is missing inside me..i felt a part empty in me.i couldnt figure it out...i jz feel empty. man the routine is killing me...

i start to wonder why im here not there....

Malaysia BOLEH!!! =____="""

2009-04-29T02:47:00.001+04:00

Geng samun di tempat awam

KUALA LUMPUR: Bertahun menggunakan kemudahan pengangkutan awan untuk ke tempat kerja dengan selamat dua lelaki kini trauma apabila menjadi mangsa samun sekumpulan penjenayah dikatakan berkeliaran di hentian bas dan stesen sistem Transit Aliran Ringan (LRT) sekitar ibu kota.

Dalam kejadian pada jam 11 malam Khamis lalu, di Masjid Jamek, lelaki berusia 21 tahun, dihampiri dua lelaki tidak dikenali sebelum disamun.

Manakala dalam kejadian terbaru pada Jumaat lalu di Pasar Seni, mangsa berusia 26 tahun kerugian hampir RM800 apabila disamun lima lelaki tidak dikenali.

its never safe in malaysia isnt it??

Good chef means good food

2009-03-26T15:57:00.000+04:00

The last week without a chef de' cuisine, we cook as much good food as we can to fill our hungry stomach everynight. lobsters,fish,crab,prawn etc... expecting that when the new chef arrive we wont have the chance to do so.

But ever since He came, supper's becoming more frequent then we all expected. going from just baked lobster it self to yu,ha,hai,bao yu congee..(fish,prawn,crab,abalone congee) a really truely seafood congee i've ever tasted, a little garnish with fried dry scallop and onions really keeps the seafood spirit going (if u know what i mean) .

last week we happen to have some mussels,prawn,scallop,tyme,panne,cream,white wine which my chef gather em from a few outlets, and past it to me...ask me to cook. so i did seafood panne cabonara with white wine...well...it came out the best cabonara that i ever cook my self. im happy, im happy that i didn't dissapointe him and myself. .

Last night we had good Man yee min and dessert chinese famous Hong dao sui XD

mad-tematic

2009-03-09T04:05:00.002+04:00

see why i hate maths??? i dnt even know a thing about the above...

Gw binggung dah

2009-03-09T03:42:00.004+04:00

I just realize its already year 2009.... i mean i knew its 2009 this year.but Its 2009 already?? i even almost forgot how old am i...

----kerja sampai binggung dah---

Deja vu

2009-03-09T03:26:00.002+04:00

2years ago i was at the same situation,same feeling,same shoes...my goal this year was to get promoted in 2009. all seems well,im heading where i was aiming, things went smoothly as i've planned. my chef even promote me 3times... BUT was rejected from ex.Chef...reason : financial crisis...no hiring stuff,no raise salary,no promotion allowed...WTH!!!! damn i thaught we were wearing the same uniform???? so now, no pay raise,no promotion, no Goals.. somehow i was kind of expected this to come. so i wasn't really that dissapointed.

----------So new Goals...."Die also don't give up" "sei dou emm fong hei" ----------

....

2009-03-01T05:21:00.002+04:00

This is so not me, i entered kinokunya last week,of all places.So i ended up buying 2books for myself, both of authur nicholas sparks. i was having doubts about me reading it. but i bought it anyway.

I started badly. Reading the 1st page not knowing wat was going on.but who cares,so i continue reading,just when the interest starts to kick it, they jump to diff people,diff story,diff places. =__='' what??? so i close the book and go to slp..

It's been years since i last read a book, and now it's funny i even bother buying it to read ... and im actually enjoying it.. XD

Why complained

2009-02-28T14:07:00.003+04:00

I've been thinking about how much have i not achieved in my 21years 4months of living.but God wouldn't allow me to.instead he kept me bz thinking of how much has he blessed me over my 21years. so why complain when im already so bless ?

I've often being judge of being very egoistic ,action, acting cool , gay etc...(so the list goes on) and also being told that I'm a very friendly person,kind hearted and caring others above self...(seriously, i dnt know which part are they looking at it).

Being the youngest in the family is not what i always which for(not that i have a choice) but i always wanted to have a little sis or bro to take care of.I always wanted to to be the Big bro who hold the lil sis bros hand while crossing the road or in the supermarket(that is when their still lil).But by fact is im the most cared child in the family(also the 1 who got my parents worried the most).many years back,when my sister just started her new life in KL, she's suffering alot, or more like struggling on her own, it got me worried of going down to KL for studies.my studies grade back then didnt do so well maby because of my "tidak apa" attitude.finish my high school year straight in work,until i finally got into college.(with mum n sis help again) But when im finally down in KL, my Big sis is there to help me through, what to do or what not, which bus to take which not to. the JOURNEY frm subang-KL-subang. Puchong-KL-Puchong. Nothing much i did all by myself just so u know...

I always think that maby God knows my limit.That is why HE is offering me so much help in life.i've never think what i wana do after high school or what's plan for future.just living day by day basis...not knowing or care whats happening for tommorow.(yeah,i was that kinda guy) But now,i have so many dreams,so many things i hope i can achieved.and God's a big part of it.I never thought that I could stand where I stand now,much thanks to my lovely girlfriend who supported me all these years,helping me thru ups and down,putting a smile on my face when my tears seems unstoppable,lifting up my faith whenever it falls,and giving me a reason to dream even bigger.yes im planning now,and now i do care for tommorow.

After all these...

---why complained when im already blessed---

Queen's Land

2009-02-20T00:08:00.005+04:00

Strong mama,a.k.a HOLY mama.calm,wise,hardwrking,loving,sensitive,u name it..
my mama

my perfect companion
it's been close to 6 years by now,what can i say.
she perfects me

The jovial sister of all times,
she's like a tv in the family,if she ain't around,no fun around either.
(in a good manner of coz) xD

---Beautiful? i know---

Desert safari

2009-02-18T01:46:00.006+04:00

Baru jer sampai

sudah pun penat....

the dubaian hip-hopers..Lolz

mat rempit x jadi

HE likes me

HE likes him not..LMAO

i didn't know im white in color..=___=""

Food o food...i love u food

was too hungry..no 1's focusing on the camera but foooood!!!

shisha time....."pening sial"

Thats what friends are for

2009-02-09T02:04:00.006+04:00

I was talking to mael earlier today,about how things went bad at the airport while sending off gusti to moscow. 1st of all,for u who didnt know, gusti got a job in moscow,not a hotel,but restaurant instead. theres has been a complication on the agreement weeks before he left,but somehow he left anyway. so upon arriving at the airport,only did he found out that he cant past through the gate, reason was that he only bought one-way ticket to moscow, he is still yet to get a visa frm moscow,plus a indonesian is hard to get visas around, so mael and matt(other 2friends) dig out their wallet to see how much they got to get gusti a new air ticket to moscow and back to indonesia.(2way tic) and poor gusti only have 200usd..yeah..only 200usd to go to moscow.gusti was all stress and tension..frm what meal told me was that it seems he is going to cry...and all mael have was 2000dirham with him while matt have only 500dirham...a total of 2500 + gusti 100usd makes it 2800dirham..and thank God the air ticket was 2800dirham...they get the ticket and rush gusti into the gate for he is like so late...on 40mins left till the plane board..and now he arrived safely in moscow thanks to these 2 great friend..

Its funny how one would lend those amount of money to some1 they only know for a year and might not even see him ever again...they give out their hard earn money just so one's friend could be in peace.. and i was thinkning.what if i was the 1 with such amount of money, will i gave it all? or just maby half of what i have. what about you?? what would you do if u were in his shoe? but im sure he will pay it back someday.. =)

p/s : not all malays a bad eh??? XD

Before & After

2009-02-06T21:51:00.002+04:00

Before i knew you, i wish i never meet u
but now i know you,i prayed u'll never leave,

Paranoid ???

2009-02-03T21:00:00.005+04:00

Today my chef allow me to go home early,by 4hours...but some how i don't know why i felt this way...kept thinking negatively...like maby i wasnt performing good in the kitchen,and i was send home instead of others because i wasnt that important..i know i should be thankful. because im his favourited hehe..thats what i felt la judging by the way he treated me. but is this wat u call paranoid? or it jz make me looks very "kia su" well i dnt deny that,because i always wanted to be the best in my work....even if its not the best among all,but at least the best i can be..... man...i waiting to get promoted....thats why!!!

good night....

ZZZZzzzZZzzzz(promoted promoted promoted) ZZZZzzzZZzzzz

Gusti last day

2009-02-02T15:31:00.004+04:00

it was gusti's last day at work.he will be flying to moscow on the 7th..nice knowing u...

CNY '09 eve

2009-02-02T12:42:00.004+04:00

ismail&gusti drunk!!! XD

me & teeqa
(ignore the back fella)

the 3 botakz...
(getting high)

oh...and it was also nazib's birthday..the same day as cNy
so we decided to go to the bar to celebrate...some even got drunk and start mengaruting..haha

Life is Legend

2009-01-25T07:43:00.001+04:00

Last night i was browsing tru my friendster page, and as i come across my inbox msges way back to 2004, ( 5years ago) i was shock..of that people i got msges i dnt even rember who are they..opss sry man...(u dint keep in touch with me wert) some i even dnt even know they excisted...=X

And so i read almost 1 by 1..i spend almost 1 1/2 hours jz reading those msges..truely i laugh al the way..im amazed wat girls since that batch could really do...man,they are so daring...Omg... i don't even rememberd reading those msg b4...

well,i believe everyguy has their "time" and mine has past.. XD i was once told, if eugene were a playboy...it'll killed'em totally..LMAO.....but thats not the case...im happy its over. jz after my spm as the 1st day i was in kl for my studies in taylors...a girl actually msg me to tell me that she misses me and cried the whole night a girl i dnt even know nor seen or heard(sorry for being rude).. i was like..huh?? really 1 ah?? for those of u who know me..."girl" to me is like oh..watever. game?? oh yesssss!!! those kind..hahaha...maby thats why i forgot everything about that msg...

well at least theres something to laugh about when i think back to those "old times" good experience,funny memories.. hehe

---peace out---

The question.....

2009-01-16T04:48:00.013+04:00

It was my 1st question conversation with my new chef.

was having lunch in the cafeteria with him

Chef : Eugene, "kao" 1 girl la...
Gene : ..............
Chef : "kao" 1 mar...1 " dai lok mui" ( china gal )
Gene : dowan la...buat apa...not interested ........
Chef : make us chinese proud mar......
Gene : =_="' proud???? how proud???u "kao" la
Chef : muka kecewa... "mou guai yong ar nei"
Gene : hahahahaahhahhahahahahhahahahahahah

and it was end of over question conversation..lol..since then he never ask me again..lolz....

...Let it fa|| ...Let it fa|...| Let it fa||...

2009-01-16T04:34:00.006+04:00

Today dubai's 2nd ice rain fall again...heheheh jz mini bitcie tiny vinny little ice rain... ^^ cool !!!

Ill be back....

2009-01-09T02:23:00.001+04:00

will blog again .....soon....XD

sakitz..

2008-11-09T11:11:00.001+04:00

won't be having off for 2weeks......

--lord give me strength--

Believe it or not

2008-11-06T01:07:00.002+04:00

All my life,I've never eat such expensive food before.or even did it came through my mind that food can be sooo expensive.

So...my point is, just after ramadhan season, starting nov, business just boost up to the max for peppercrab restaurant(the 1 im working in). reservation which use to be just 20-30 ppl per day, turn up till 80-120 ...which is good...reservation was good,food cost was good,money was good,just all kitchen staff died...lack of staff,due to some of em resigned,some on vacation. so left the poor 6 of us to work in rush hour..

Food prices : mud crab 1kg- 550dirham (normal size is 1.2-2kg)
lobster : 750dirham per kg.(normal size-1.2-2kg)
live hammour fish : 1kg for 400dirham.(normal size was 2kg till 4kg)

so these of the above was the most popular main dishes in the restaurant..
for the
past few days,with the lack of staff issue,lack of rest,plus with the work load that we need to rush to each day, it wasn't too good,some didnt't even off for a month till now..but it's ok..business was good .real good. each day revenue approx around 70-100thousand dirham...and i've seen table with 10 person ate up to 30,000 dirham, with the most expensive table with 20 person ate up to amazingly 110,000 dirham.. and the world is talking about financial crisis?? maby not for everyone i guess...

next month tips gonna be high (hopefully) hehe...more work,means more money right??? i guess i've cut more then 700kg of mud crab for the past week, and 2800kg for the month...phew ~~~ my hand nearly break...haha..with live fish,lobster and crabs...
how can they be soooo rich?? omg...what a life with the money they got.how nice if my restaurant could earn that much in a day...ill die covered with money..hahah..

2days back

just before closing around 12.30am ...a group of indians (family) came in,sit down,and have a look at the menu, and the asst manager went up to em, explaining to em the size of mud crab and lobster available for that day,

guest : what seafood u have??
asst manager : today we have mud crab for 1.2kg(smallest) with the price of 750dirham.and lobster 1.6kg(smallest) with the price of 1100dirham,and live fish for 2 kg with the price of 900dirham..
Guest : ............. (silence) and he continue....what??? no no no...i did not expect it to be soooo expensive.And so the family stand up and walk out.( looking surprise ) hehe.....

--it's a crazy world after all--

Story of my life

2008-10-28T01:12:00.002+04:00

starting to doubt that all i've been believing all this while it's just a way to run away from reality...
i've been ask awhile ago." how's life ?? " i had a long thought about it..and does it mean by "today" or " hows life in a whole " ?? for today..i don't know.it's just another chapter in my life..another day goes by me.another day which if it comes or dosn't ..i don't really care..i don't give a shit about it.all i know.life suck.hate it.if i say in "whole" .. seriously i think im just living life cause people live life this way..they work,earn to live.nothing more.life's boring. those who think life's any interesting or meaningful...shoot it out.ill be more then happy to see life in your point of view...

I once thought i had a perfect life, a life i could feel so comfortable,so in control of things,a life thats so promising, once had a chance to thank God for my life that i had what others don't. the ability to get what i want...no worries,no doubt over my self,and always think life is good.always try to judge people who think otherwise..now that im in their shoes...things seems clear before my eyes.starting to understand how they feel,why they felt that way.

Ever since high school life,all i'm into is work,home,work,home...nothing more. to me it wasn't a bad or sad thing.i would say it's a no life...but i prefer that way..i'm not really social kinda person..i cherish my time being alone..maby thats why others see it's a no life.people who don't know me often say im action,trying to be cool..bla bla bla...but who give a shit about it...i don't care..i am who i am.i live my own life.the life i wan it to be..so get lost if you had a problem wit it.

Everything are the same now after years...but somethings change..i start to lose control of my life.lost the vision i once had,the goals i've been chasing for.the dream i always love to have 1 someday.the life and plans i picture and awaits it every single day,,seems to be drifting away from me very very fast.how amazing it is...for many years of hard work,many learning from mistake changes,many headache's planning,the amount of effort i put into it,the heart i gave into it,and the love i sacrifice it for many years......just 1 wave...just 1 huge gigantic wave...wash it all away...it's like losing it to nature...losing it to things we cant blame any1 for it..losing it to something that is out of our control. how can a thousand be a zero in 1 day? like how can a loser be a winner in 1day? overnight changes??

Funny,cause it never ever came across my stupid brain that i would be like this one day...yea...i've always say life's full of shit,just live with it..but am i not living now?? i am..thats why i say life's suck. what's life?? how to live a better life? or abundant life?? when things just go worse and never getting better?? how it's it going to abundant when better were never near...
i'm tired,i'm sick,im out of drive...

--back to reality--

IT

2008-10-27T01:17:00.004+04:00

How can IT pull a thousand to zero in just 1 day??
Why IT choose Today??
How can IT posses such power??
IT was once beautiful..
created to the most perfection..
as perfect as IT can be..
yet IT fall for just 1 flaw..
from a thousand to zero..
in just once day..
giving up IT'S beauty and grace
to transform into an evil face..

Tell me why you pick this way..
to kill,to hurt in all IT days..
I'm sick and tired of all IT ways..
kill,burn and hurt for all IT want..
thou OUR thousand may turn to zero...
but OUR zero will raise to HERO!!!

So try harder to reach IT dreams...
for you'll never succeed with IT within..
giving up beauty and grace was never the way..
trying overtaking HIM was just a waste day dream..
foolish of IT to feel within..
to end up in a place where IT can never redeem...

Reality

2008-10-25T23:31:00.004+04:00

Life is something we all have to go through.Having living in this world long enough , i can say that

Life suck!!!
Sorry to say,but they really do, life's full of shit, no matter where we turn,where we go,how far we try to run,shit is always there. so it really comes to how we live with it, how we manage to past tru it.which way we take and what decision we make.
God gave us choices to make by our own in our life.sometimes situation allow us to drift away from the LORD. at times we tend to also see things through own eyes & understanding.Jumping to conclusion where we can only see dead and giving up.Forgetting about the wonders and power that our Lord JESUS CHRIST posses...how far can we go by our own? tempted to think what we see or going through is real...it's indeed real...we felt it,we past it,we hurt because of it,giving up all because of it.
Sometimes we question the Lord, to my understanding,9correct me if I'm wrong)the Lord didn't put us in trouble,nor did he put trouble unto us. All things happens for a reason.sometimes our prayer is answered. some are yet to come, some are not answered.

Sometimes we don't see or understand God's answers
God is all knowing and can see things that we cant.The Bible ask us to trust God.rather then our own understanding of whats best for us.

(proverbs 3: 5-6 )
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.

The Bible also says that sometimes God works in ways that we can't understand

(isaiah 55:8-9)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,neither are my ways your ways,As the heavens are higher then the earth,so are my ways higher then your ways,and my thoughts higher then your thoughts

(1st corinthains 13: 12)
tells us,now we see things dimply,as in a mirror,but someday we will see clearly and understand how God answer our prayers.

have faith in the Lord for HE is good. thou we are facing problems that seems as good as dead,always remember,we are Gods children,HE created us with HIS own image. HE never wan to see us fall.As the LORD says "call unto me and i will be there with you" The "step" is all we need to take.and the "war" is for the LORD to deal with.

--HE is good,HIS love endures forever--

U tell me

2008-10-25T07:27:00.001+04:00

-- life is so unfair --

The love and lust

2008-10-24T03:04:00.005+04:00

Choosing between love and lust, its something every guy will go through in their life.
Does love stand a better chance when theres lust in the way???
How do you define lust? or love?
Can one control him/her-self when they are emotionally&physically overwhelm by the power of lust??
And so the question goes on...

Ever since I've came down to dubai, i've learned many things through experience,one of the many things its how to stay in control of our own self emotionally & physically. (choosing between love and lust ) . I have been in situation where I was allowed to do things which isn't right before the LORD'S eyes. i was ask to join few of my friends over the famous "hooker street". well,it wasn't my cup of tea...i reject em without thinking of course. And i have also been in a situation where girls obviously asking u to get laid "tonight"..by inviting u to sleep in her room. it's a no no of course...
here are a few things I'd like to share

I had a beautiful 5 1/2 years relationship till today.. still counting.
and i wont risk anything for it...
remaining faithful "till death do us part" is a serious commitment. so do say it only if u really mean it.

Proverbs 6 : 27-29
can a man scoop fire into his lap and not be burn? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet? So it is with a man who cheats on his spouses . He who embrace her will not go unpunished.

1 corinthians 6 : 9-10
Don't you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the Kingdom of GOD?...Those who induldge in sexual sin,who are adulterers...non of these will have a share in the Kingdom of GOD.

Adultery's momentary pleasure isn't worth the consequences that it brings "a life time of regret and pain" Even if our sins is not caught during our lifetime,we wont get away with it forever.

Just remember, its all in the head.let not emotion take control,but our sense of mind and the fear of God be in control.Its always easier to say then to do. but if i can do it..i don't see why others can't....past few months back, my girlfriend got so worried that i would "play" around here...also conversation with her friend goes like "ure stupid,,ure waiting here and his bang"ing others in dubai" nasty words huh?? i felt it...to me nothing was more important then a trust that she gave me.a trust i must not betray at any cost.
there's a say goes "when faced with temptation,we might be tempted to think that we can handle it.but the best course is to run away and not look back.

The difference between love an lust is love is patient and kind, lust is impatient and rude, lust takes what it wants regardless of the other's needs or desire. Love gives and gives and does not take that which is not offered.

proverbs 5 : 15 , 18
Drink water from your own well,share your love only with your wife...let your wife be the fountain of bleesing for you.rejoice in the wife of your youth.

--just remember,its all in the Head...take control of it and be in control--

Photo shoothing

2008-10-16T04:17:00.000+04:00

never in my life,i would expect myself to be on tv... especially i cant even look a camera for more then 5mins...thats me. yes..im not camera shy or watever..jz dnt really like the fact that i appear in the picture as an alien...( to me it is ) so...

days are normal..i wake up,took my shower,get dress,bought a coffee and get into the bus head to work,get dress in my uniform,all the way to kitchen,there where my ex-chef came to me.says "eugene,go to the main lobby now (which no kitchen staff are allow) u will see 4 other chef there and go for a photo shooting yeah??

what?? where?? who??
i was confuse coz he speak so fast with his German slang, go to lobby?? noW?? meet 4 chef?? yes??
yes boy...now move ur ass...
aight...thats all i reply..( boy???)

i went there with my uniform.get together with 4 other chef and a guy approach us speaking Arabic... bla bla bla...( theres 3arabic chef,1 Indian and me the chinglish) told us we are going for photo shooting ask us not to be worried for nobody is getting their uniform dirty ,no live cooking sumthing sumthing.and so we went into his car,took a long 45 mins drive to a apartment...b4 we enter the apartment,i ask aren't we suppose to do photo shooting in a studio???
no 1 answered.we enter we saw 3guy and a chef...apparently his like the famous celebrity Chef Wan in dubai..oo..ok...i dint even know he exist.so we do few posing, a lil acting..erm.(not really acting) jz stand at the door press the bell when the doors are open all u need to do its smile...*action..no no no, once again, ah no no no..look at me when u smile..those kinda things u can think of when ure doing a photo shooting*

2hours its all it takes..we're done and off to go..reach back to the hotel an hour and half later meet my ex-chef along the way.. so hows the shoot?? good?? pretty ladies there??
*no chef..noting..its jz a shoot..nothing more nothing less..*
good good says the chef..thanks yea..then he walk off...and im back to my kitchen to work

i seriously dnt really know wats going on the whole day. all i know its im gona's appear in dubai's tv someday...which i wish i wdnt have to...but all in all a great experience.

---something to remember---

Smooth sailing ??

2008-10-16T03:49:00.001+04:00

ever since i reach dubai.i have only 1 thing in mind...finish up 2years and go home..well..things seems to change a lil. as time goes by,doors are open,mind set are change,goals are slightly different,i decided to perhaps stay a lil longer if i had the chance to learn wox.

The thing is chinese kit has a particular rules which u have to be a 3,2,then 1st chooper,other sections,and a few more sections,only u get to even touch the wox..so to me it was impossible to learn wox in jz 2 years rite?? but i didnt gave up. i put effort,time,and just live one day at a time, God pulls things together for me.well.to cut the long story short again..after 1 year in chinese kitchen...im more to cooking on wox now.. ( wox had higher salary then other section u know) hehehe...but i didnt get promoted yet or salary raise..but its ok..at least i reach where i wanted the 1st day i step into Grand hyatt dubai.

one year past really fast.some ask me how am i doing here.i can say im doing good.better then i use to be in marriott. everything seems well... smooth sailing?? but theres 1 thing i regret most...getting involve in gambling too much..so much so that i lost the amount of money that i cud...erm..lets just say..its a big amount.yeah guess not everything's smooth sailing huh??...well i face the music and i stopped this month totally.. hmm...but now facebook has its all so convenient texas hold'em poker...wow..i was like into it again...gambling but this time no real cash involve..so i guess its ok...

so i look back..the past year..

i get to be the 3rd wox ( which my target archive )
i get better in skill wise
i get to safe some money
i get to work overseas ( which i also wanted to )
getting comfortable with my kitchen now
manage to keep tis great and unbelievable relationship i build 5years ago
i feel more secure now then ever
more doors are opening for me (headache)
God still love and repeatedly forgiving me the sins i keep repeating
God bless me so much so that i can say hm..easy life huh??

so in a nut shell...i can say its smooth sailing

The "chef " who think he know it all ... Blaaaa....

2008-10-16T02:53:00.000+04:00

working days are as normal..
till 1 day comes a " chef " who applied as a chef de partie (supervisor) well..we all have high expectation on him of coz...came in the kitchen..with the big goliah like body,nerdy stupidly kind of look,with the sarcastic and lousy attitude which head contains full of shit!!! so for the 1st day, of coz as a supervisor,he had to prove his worth and value that we paid him for..a simple fried rice is ask to be cook by him ...
with wox of coz...

well,to cut the whole long story short, he cant seems to cook... ( sweats ALL =_=" ) i was like wat the...so he was ask "u know how to use a chooper??? cut lobsters?? king crab?? fillet fish and cut a whole fish???? blaa blaa blaaa??? YES!!! he replied(confidently) my heart goes finally he knows something..but well as i expected...he failed to do so...how i wish i took some of the pic of the fish he filleted. like totally chaos...disaster....o man...my chef was mad, real mad..some of the chef are well speechless..what in the world???

so i went up to my chef and say...if he with that skill and attitude, lousy useless and good for nothing is able to maintain as a chef de partie...i would gladly challenge him for his post....my chef smile back at me...dnt worry eugene...his going down...lol...

and since he is unable to do anything with a 4years experience he had in Chinese kitchen (which i think its bull) he is place under me to guide him trough the entire kitchen briefly...and so...the interesting part..i ask him to fry spring rolls...who ever can fry..u dnt have to be a chef to know how to fry a spring rolls... i put the spring rolls in the deep fryer and i left him alone there expecting him to know simple things...

moments later.....

im back with 4 BLACK spring rolls...which its not edible at all..and the conversation goes

Eugene : apa ni???
FOS : spring rolls???
Eugene : u panggil tu spring roll?? biar betul ni...*with hand on forehead*
FOS : bukan maou hitam punyer arrr???
Eugene : OMG!!!! ko ni biar betul ni.. otak tinggal msia ka?? ko nak makan benda hitam tu?
FOS : laugh..haha...no...
Eugene : ........
FOS : so macam mana sekalang??
Eugene : big sigh!!! pergi pergi...tandas ke,jalan jalan ke.mati ke.ko pegi la.celaka..siap tanya lagi

so FOS walk away knowing im piss....and never really dare to ask me question since..
well...life's full of shit dnt they??

2008-03-17T04:14:00.000+04:00

got this link from chai...guess i need to find out too.. XD

What Eugene Means You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

samson-Dengan nafasmu

2008-03-15T08:26:00.000+04:00

Dengan nafasmu aku hidup
Karena tawamu aku bahagia

Bersama dirimu aku tegar
Karena harimu adalah yang terbaik
Untuk dimiliki

Dan biarkan aku mencintaimu
Karena dirimu yang berarti
Dan izinkan aku menyayangimu
Hanyalah dirimu yang berharga

Ketika kau ada disampingku
Hidupku pun terasa damai
Seperti yang telah terbayangkan dalam benakku
Saat hatiku ada di hatimu
Dunia pun menjadi indah
Karena hatimulah yang aku inginkan

Karena hadirmu ku bermakna
Jadikan hidupku seakan di nirwana
Di alam dunia

Lonely(now) happiness(future)

2007-12-02T13:17:00.000+04:00

Lonely(now) happiness(future)

Night draws close

The dark rules…

Blocking all lights away

Keeping me busy with thoughts

I wonder…

There’s a reason

A purpose…for all this

Indeed there really is

And there comes this word

“But”

But what about …

What about togetherness

Not forgetting friends, families, love ones

Yes…I miss em all

Can’t deny… it’s part of my life

It seems so far away…

And I thought I never felt this way

Will it ever be the same again?

Will I ever felt that way again?

I know I had to go forward

To my destination

To the end of the world if I have to

For how long some ask…?

I don’t know

Until I reach my goals?

My dreams…?

Still there’s always “but”

It’ll ever ends ,I have to go on, be strong

For I can feel my future,just can’t see it yet

But I’ll go back to U one day

The day when I’m ready

To the 2^nd level of my life

I’ll be there

I promise u

Life would just get better

Better

And better…

I pray…

Sabar...

2007-11-23T16:09:00.001+04:00

Excited...
Future...
It's possible..
When...
Is it the right path..
How...

DOha?
jumeirah hotel?
Burj Al Arab?
JW marriott united states?

wait...these words came to me...
one day....
just not yet...
not yet...

I'm excited...
thrilled...
Don't know what to expect
eager to know what or where I'll be
theres a way...
The time will come...
that day will reach...

Just not yet...
not yet...

Thank you

2007-11-23T15:49:00.002+04:00

God has been good to me..
from the day i took my first breath..
into this world
a world of Death and Death alone

But theres also h[ope
h[ope that comes from HIM
the1 that leads me to where i am today
I'm thankful
thankful for all the things He has done for me
I'm don't deserved this
i know...

But...because of love..
A love that forgive,and forget
A love that would die for my badly sins
without asking anything in return

I'm happy
happy to know Him..
Happy to know HE Loves me..

I've been given so many chances
He open those doors that seems impossible
I'm well
well treated and bless

Thanks to HIM
Thank you JESUS...

I LOVE YOU!!!

City??

2007-11-11T21:04:00.000+04:00

dubai??

its 1 of the man made palm island..its huge..and bechkam have 1 of his house there

its the same island..bloody big

Dubai's city

2007-11-02T11:56:00.000+04:00

BURJ AL ARAB
(Tower of Arab)

all didnt wana get wet..
well some jz cant resist it

o ya..this is the world's tallest building

they use robot to build the top
coz its so tall that the pressure can kill u up threre

trust me!!
took along the tour

too boring....

2007-10-26T21:22:00.000+04:00

"PAULANERS"
very nice beer.."
not too strong"

||||it was a german funtion||||

singing and dancing on the table
*the chair was going to break*

are to thinking what I'm thinking???
girl touching the man's BUTT!!!!

HAHHA
i have no idea...LOlz

With You Always

2007-10-20T16:59:00.000+04:00

SusHi ???

2007-10-20T14:27:00.000+04:00

ok just the 2nd day i meet up with my chef,guess where he bring me for dinner?GRAND HYATT HOTEL (LOBI)

As i walk by those fancy cool BEAUTIFUL high classy type of restaurant,(man,i'v never seen so beautiful restaurant in my life before) it's how to say,really exploring.well,we went in to the sushi restaurant.get our self a nice table,and my chef just order and say give us sumthing special allrite...in my mind was like well.im really wana see this "special" that he has for me..we'll see

Mean while,i ordered jap sake for my self.as for my chef he drank white wine..man...is jz wine everywhere...unbelieveable

So....here comes the 1st dist..salmon role with mash potato ...taste really good thou..(is it becz its cooked??)

And now....the main dish which i have been waiting..ok i taught.not that bad.is raw raw raw and more raw.....i was telling myself dnt force and eat it if i dnt wan2.TILL!!!! my chef told me this plate it self coz 1150dir...i was like "WHAT!!!!" what on earth is in there?
(in my mind...man eugene u gotta finish it now)
crazy!!! really....

dessert came "jasmin tea cream brulee" not bad...(75dir for 1plate)

and so after the long expensive dinner we had.i taught well.im going home to slp..its 10.30pm here..its like 2.30am in m'sai?? guess what..he drove to park hyatt hotel for the top vodka seller in U.A.E...

we finished 2 apple vodka,2 apple martini and 1 pineapple juice....
and the view is jz amazingly cool
what a night

During the boring journey to dubs

2007-10-19T17:40:00.000+04:00

was watching GOAL 2

was so bored,heart ache,missing my bb & families,my holidays,my time in m'sia..suddenly everything seems to jz come into my head.those flash bk of my n my darling,so hard to let go,felt so lonely,at the momment is as if reality seems so fake....

sitting alone on the plane,jz thank god for that.so i can have more space&privacy
for myself

well i definitly miss u dear..during the whole journey i was jz thinking of u.jz cant get my turn off my brain for a momment..

i miss u

Jay's 1st time..So its mine

2007-10-19T17:17:00.000+04:00

jay: eugene u take photo of me again im gona break ur phone
eugene: ok ok

jay's cracking his head trying to understand those tools

still trying hard..

we were heading for futsal,suddenly an unknown guys horn jay (finger pointed to the tyre) opps...BAO TAI !!! jay was like oh shit..."die lo" my girlfriends car...oh i dint do anything..what the...and so v stop by..hoping we can change the tyre our self,(jay dnt knw how to change tyre) can u imagine...hahaha wonder what if his father got to know about it..( sorry jay ) i told u i was gona blog about it..haha ..anyway v some how manage to change it without damaging the car was so relief and went for our lovely futsal..lolz...tx to jay's ( we were late)